Know the quality of the thoughts sometimes swillin' round my mind ain't what they should be. Seedy thoughts, some people go through rigours to flush 'em out, to purify their minds, to become clean. I just don't make that much of an effort I guess, think it is pointless to a degree, so they stick there like shit to the side of a bog bowl, slowly becoming more and more a part of me, maybe. Idleness. Feel a bit lazy, washed out, washed up, whatever you wanna call it, over these last few days. Been working a lot, what with Wisdom and Tamdin but lately seemed to have slowed a little and it feels like it. Off the pace. Getting a bit too comfortable. Looking around at the same old things and thinking just what is it I am supposed to do? Confusion delusion. Cold weather. Everyone talks about the cold, on the news all the time, but it is late November, more or less winter time, so what is so shocking about it? News on TV, news on the net...talk of blizzards, snow records, low temps... as if these are exceptional things and that they are as scary or as unusual of flying to the moon. Stupidity of man. Inability to just get on with things without making comments every 5 minutes.
Cracks on my hand, back of my hand. Right hand has a crack on the back of my middle finger. Skin dry, crack through the middle. Skin hard, feels rough. Don't know what causes it. Rub some cream on it I guess and then it will get better. So, the seediness of my mind, think that was where this all started. Lying in my bed in the mornings, these dark mornings, I wish I could flush out some of those tired old thought patterns that offer nothing in the way of construction or creation...maybe we always have to descend to ascend as the guru says...ascend with conduct, descend with the view...think i believe that is true. Not managed to meditate much this weekend either. Well, did some on Friday night but not much yesterday, not that it matters so much to me. I mean my whole life is meditation right? Or should be.
Still got a pleasant physical sensation of energy resting in a space above my head showering down on me warmth and well being. Psychic world. Luminous map of the profound ways of the invisible. Guess I believe in that stuff more and more although it is impossible to explain, to map out with any sense of coherence without people looking at you strange and thinking to themselves, well, what exactly is he on to come out with stuff like that? Gets you imaginin' all kinds of things like UFOs flyin' above my head, like being watched over by aliens, like being an alien myself who has just taken cover in the body of this Philip Bradley. That behind all this lies the real ghost eternal...space travellers, masters of the speed of light. After all, the problems of visiting other worlds are all solved once we figure out how to go faster than the speed of light if ya ask me but no one will of course because I am just a punked up nobody livin' out his life in the 'scapes of east London but if you did ask me that then what I would say is that if ya really wanted to go to other worlds, the countless other worlds that exist out there in our galaxy, in the wider universe and beyond then what ya have to do is delve into the realms of the non-atomic.
Now of course I don't have a clue as to where to start with all that but maybe some other bright soul out there might like to consider the possibilities. Non-atomic research, scraping the invisible. People will look at me when I say that as if I am truly deluded, but the psychic body I feel, especially now with the light shining down from above my head, filling me up with bliss inexhaustible...it convinces me more and more that the answers to the mysteries of life and existence lie more in what is not there than in what is. The spaces in between are what we have to watch out for. Anyway, enough of this speculation, this puffin' out of air, this far out junk about space, aliens, visitations from other realms, got to get back to the here and now so here we are; sunday morning. Flushing out the seed of the my mind, those minds seeds that make me feel like a junkyard dealer gone wrong, an asparagus charlie on the rumage. Staring at the cold back garden with the leaves on the ground, maybe good in a while to go outside get a blast of fresh air and sweep clean the patio.
cold time
leaf sweepin
plain geezer
such as me
able to do it
up an' down
10 minutes
maybe more
sack those leaves
stand back
gaze the scene
happy jack
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