Solar Bathin'

Afternoon now, writing this at work, beautiful sunlight shinin' through our little office here in Ilford, down the back streets on the edge of town, the mighty smoke. Blue November sky, clear as a bell outside and cold. Atmospshere. East London, place of power to me, Ilford yes and further out Romford too, places on the eastern edge of the vast city where deep knwoledge of earth magic from long ago staked out all salient points. Life on earth, how can you ever beat it? Seasonal changes rollin' on, mortals like myself slowly gettin' older, tiny creatures slowly requiring a little bit more time to get things done. Sets me weepin' over our fragility.

Just the ticking of the clock, office quiet, just two of us and the sun illuminatin' the wall. Solar pulsin' so many millions of miles away causin' this experience for me to ponder. Not much in the way of calls, customers must be busy some place else. Even though I can see the beauty of the sun the day when there is no action in terms of orders and business always leaves me sitting here wanting more more more to do stave off the despair of thinking it is all going to go bust. How the anger and the disgust of people will have to be waded through if the whole thing goes belly up. Such petty thoughts, like flies buzzin' round inside my head, can't get rid of their buzzin' at times. Destiny. Clearly this is how it is meant to be...but then again surely I don't have to just sit back and let it all roll over me? Maybe not but so far after a good solid 48 years on this planet I haven't quite found the knack of exterminating that fly buzz.

Guess that is it. Fear. It is not so much the end which causes the fear and consternation but the process of getting to the end. Maybe a mind of mindfulness can just see the whole process through and not feel like it is a process of moral and personal disintigration... must be like death...process of dying. As the Buddha says, death is an experience of pain and suffering; no way to avoid that, no one gets out of here alive. I mean look at the Buddha, laid out flat he was by the side of a dusty road in the Ganges sticks over 2000 years ago in a land far away. Dyin'. Nuthin' has changed there, in fact it has only probably got worse. Unless you get pumped up full of drugs then a painful end is almost certain. But after that... maybe then you break through the clouds and like today, this beautiful day with the sky so blue in the late November London light, you reach clarity where there are no borders, no obsatcles, and in that infinite space you glide into a new reality.

sittin at my desk
morning sun
warming me up
very nice!

planet child
sometimes woeful
but that is just
karma machinery
spittin' out the
inevitable
and it ain't
nuthin' special