Pow Factor O' Da Big Centre

Sat in the sit place an' had strong presence. Early mornin', birds singin' outside my window sittin' in the autumn trees as I got straight down to the rise belly, fall belly. Thoughts streamed through the doors of my mind just as they usually do but this morning I was centered and able to come back to the breath without too much crackle. Not everytime is like that, no siree. When the presence, the will to sit an' let be is stronger than the energy which indulges in the constant playin' out of scenarios belongin' either to the past or the future, then ya know you've ran into the big centre. So sat today an' just let all those mental configurations wash all over me, roll over me like the sound of Babylon drums. Really didn't matter as there I was, right in the goddam middle of the big centre and when that happens ya jus' can't feelin' as solid an' immovable as a mountain. Sittin' like that can only bring me energy...yeah mon, gives me a taste o' da bliss rays of that invincible inner sun.

Like being in the eye of the storm brother. All is calm, all is peaceful. All is jus' the invisible expandable inexhaustable forever flexible, an' ever renewin' ever creatin' wow of the One. Those outer edges, those thoughts and imagined dramas that attend so constantly the life of a human bein' can jus' blow crazy, uproot the trees of emotions, smash against the house of supposed fabricated metal certainties, but they will fail to pull ya off this particular inner highway. The outta can do all that an' more but all that kinda action just don't matter to the vast expanse of the big centre that ya breathe an' take deep down into ya heart where reside the energy streams can't but help fill ya with that indescribable pow factor.

Wrapping Doubts with Presence

time keeps rollin' - like a wheel - mercilessly...

all thoughts throughout my life of havin' done my best, all those jobs done to the best of my abilities...what do they come to in the end? Like a red sun over the Caspian, it's a difficult one, so hard to say, jus' like starin' into the great unknown. Just how well will all those thousands of little things you have tried your best to do prepare you for what is beyond this breathin', wakin' reality? After all, at the end of the day you are what you are so do all the things you do make much difference?

so there I was this mornin' with the bright sun streamin' in through the window illumninatin' all the dirt to a microscopic degree, mutterin' my mantras, casting my head in profile, seeing the lines of my face (lookin' every single bit of my 47 years) reflected in the mirror of the shrine an' thinkin' - is all this stuff actually gonna add up to anything?

doubts. Guess those kinda thoughts are OK, they might mean confusion, they might mean a loss of energy to the point where you feel you can't even pick up a biscuit, but they are still alright because they are what they are an' all it needs is you to wrap them with presence, throw the cloak of awareness over them, an' then the game is a bust.

Dream About Jim

Dreamt about dear old Jim the other day, he's been dead for over a year now. In the dream Mike was speaking to him on the phone, excited that he was speaking to the dead. After a while the phone got handed to me. I asked Jim why he died, did he mean to and did he know what was going to happen...The voice that answered sounded disembodied, just like something from out of the spirit realm, Jim but not Jim at the same time. Maybe it was my dream projection picture of Jim that meant I was tryin' to fix the voice to the image, I really don't know. The voice got harder and harder to hear properly, until it got to the point where it just sounded like there was static, all be it static filled with presence. I pressed the phone tight to my ear when suddenly there was a scream which scared the hell out of me and hurt my ear as well, next thing I knew I had dropped the phone. When I picked it up again and put it to my ear there was a real feeling of menace from whatever it was that was on the other end of the line. The voice which I had thought was Jim's had gone, faded into the barely understandable energy and confusion of that strange, strange world that I was listening into. Not long after that I woke up.

Is

always lookin' for a way to get there...to that place of observation where everything is neat, where you don't have to worry about whatever comes along because you know that whatever comes along was surely meant to be... the seeds were sown for its arising many moons ago maybe, so there is no right or wrong, just the bein', jus' the way it is baby...

rumblewords

sleep night deep
dream maybe don't -
remember,
wake eyes open
rest slumber
day bright light
cloud cover wonder

Idyll

Dreamt I swam out to sea and then looked back to the shore. Stuck my head under the water and saw where the beach dropped off into the deep where I was treadin'. Swam back to stand on that sandy ridge an' to jump in again. When I did jump in I tried a somersault underwater and lost my bearings. The water turned cloudy and there were millions of grains of sand kicked up by my disturbance. Realised I was gaspin' for air and that I might not make it back to the surface. At that point, just when I seemed to be losing hold of life, a voice clearly told me that if I wished, I could go to Idyll. Soon as I hear the word I knew it was a haunted, darkly beautiful land, accessible only to those who are near to death, to those whose bodies have nearly shut down. Idyll - shadows and dark, deep, deep mystery. The name held an indescribable resonance; Idyll, a place so far off into the mind it is only possible to go there under exceptional cirmcumstances.