Ghost Eternal 2

Been a bit of playin' around on the blog behind the scenes but have finally decided to do a 2nd blog. GE2 will just be a dumping gound for all my poems that i have ever written. Will post a bunch up as and when i feel like it, postings won't be chronological, no set order, nuthin' like that. Will take a few months I guess but at the end of the day what I will have is an archive of all my stuff, all the poems I have ever written, all fit to view at the click of the button and i guess that will be good enough. For me, for a punk like me.

Under the weather last week, caught a chill, must have been from one of those Arctic blasts that have been whipping London this month. Had a fever, hit the sack...that kinda stuff, that kind of physical deal. Recovered now, physically recovered. Mind took a dip as well, had a bout of jus' seein' things all negative. Too easy for me still when feeling rough to see things from a dark perspective, you know the deal, everything looks rotten, nothing seems worth fighting for and the only real option seems to be to take that trip down to the hanging tree. Wow, how many times have I made that journey in my mind? Anyway, shrugged it off...

Cold weather, kinda forgot that it could get cold I guess, so many years have gone by where we have just had mild winters and not much else. Been led to believe global warming is just one way traffic, obviously there can be blips. If you ask me what it actually is might be a last hurrah...some serious shit is around the corner as far as world heat in concerned and all this shiver stuff might be just a big red herring, it will pass and then boom - no more cold anymore. We shall see.

Guess I have been thinking with regard to GE2 whether it is worth the effort and at the end of the day I guess that I think it is. What I write about in my poems is mainly just about me, what my sight is of the world, that kinda stuff, the thoughtscapes I inhabit and the feelings they can generate along the way. The poems. Nuthin' special that's for sure and certainly nuthin' great in terms of technique or anything like that, the cold hard eye of a critic would probably be able to destroy them in about 2 seconds flat. Clever critic. Enuff to make me brick it. Guess that ain't the point though. GE2 is not being done for glory, if anything it is being done to prevent death - so, no death, no glory, but just to give me something to hang on to in terms of there being things to keep me interested in life and keeping the whole show on the road. We'll see, just see how it goes.

Since last week and the bout of the shivers sleep has generally been OK, but with no dreams that I can recall in any kinda shape or form. Not much feeling attached to the sleeps I have been having also, you know, the glow of unconsciousness that it is sometimes possible to sense. More just a case of feeling pretty knocked out, hitting the sack and then not knowing a thing till the dark sounds of the following morning wake me up. Winter. This year more than ever seems to feel like a kind of hibernation. Turnin' in, gettin' older, forgetting the world, or at least wanting to. Horizons narrow, and our boundaries get smaller and smaller. Always strikes me as funny how we spend so much of our lives in a particular physical space and don't much move out of that. Back and forth, same objects, same spaces, continually running around in circles within that flat, room, office, house, whatever you call it. Doing all this and hardly ever stepping out, never expanding into something new. Guess that is how it has become for me, and I guess I have just got used to it. We are creatures of habit after all; we can get used to anything.