Friday Fried

Feelin' tired. Friday pm. Been cold as hell for the last few days and bundles of snow has come with the cold as well. Arctic blasts, could be the beginning of the end this time. The first truly unmistakable sign that the world really is warming up. Contradiction? Don't think so, the real picture ain't always that apparent. People worth saving? Maybe some. Meditation last couple of nights pretty hard going. Late at night body tired, same old story. Makes ya wanna weep sometimes it really do. Limitations of the body, certainty of mortality, the end of this sad allocation of what ya got in life is out there at some point in space an' time. Just sat did the rise belly fall belly but by the end of it I think i felt more tired than what I was before. Gruelling, just ain't no guarantee it is always gonna be a picnic. Anyway, to sit and hope for something special to happen is fatal, not at all what the game is about, not that there is a game to play in the first place, just the doin' and then hopefully keeping yer mouth shut about it. Concentration was there but kept slipping from the object, that is if I even knew what the object actually was. People need clarity, that is why so many meditation teachers give clear instruction as to what it is you are supposed to be meditating on. That is half the trick I guess, as it can go a long way to subduing the wandering mind. Certainty. If you know what it is you are supposed to do then it can become more apparent when you have fallen away from the path, off the tree so to speak, and instead you find yourself entertaining your mind with the usual gobble de gook and junk thought. So, not much to write about in this piece in terms of my sitting meditation. Just struggle this time, hard struggle, the kinda thing which goes with being 48 years down the pipe and feelin' a bit ragged round the edges but still on this road of life. Body heavy, mind heavier, that kinda thing. Cold outside, cold as hell.