Steam Box

Crazy mixed up mind, crazy mixed up stuff sometimes I feel the anger so strong in me it is a wonder that I don't turn round and kill someone. Think I'm exaggerating, well I think not. Dunno what it is...things come along. You think life is a plain sail but before you know it you are in stormy waters. All that you have done before this point is all that can equip you for getting through this point, and that is a fact, all those countless rights and wrongs committed whilst livin' an' breathin' in the light of the sun.

Anger. Sometimes can feel it so strong. Situations can come about that you simply have not been able to anticipate, always going to be the case, you can never stay ahead of the pack. Things go against the way you want them to go, you feel suffocated and therefore try to kick and shout in order to get out. Stuck inside yer own steam box. What is it that makes us so incapable of being able to see into the future? Must we always blindly stumble from one scene to another at the mercy of the winds of fate? That at least is how it feels to me, like I'm a blind stumbler...some things occur and when I look back at them, when I reflect, I feel that my ears are burning, burning because I feet so hot. Flushed with feelings of frustration which I was a million miles away from being able to adequately explain or express.

Only possible thing to do is to try and take a step back and reason, or see that whatever it is that has come along is in fact completely in keeping with fate, karma or whatever you want to call it. The wheels of destiny are rolling in exactly the direction that they are supposed to do, and if destiny decrees that you are to undergo an uncomfortable experience in which you feel that you are burning up and suffocating in some kinda box of frustration which you are a million miles away from being able to adequately express then so be it, that is just the way it is supposed to be.

So let off the steam inside yer head boy, see that it is all coming back to you, all those times when you thought you were a superman... all coming back to you now in the sense that you not in fact who you thought you cracked yourself up to be; when the crunch of the truth of any particular situation slams you in the face then you see, or rather, then you crack.

Menial level of existence...just stumbling along, that is in fact closer to the truth of the situation rather than in fact being a ruler of the world; that is only what your fantasy mind hopes you to be. Coming back down to reality can be painful, can be excrutiating in fact, but it is also probably in your best interests even if you would never be able to believe it at the time when all ya wanna do is scream like a banshee. Well that at least is the compensatory thought that I give myself; whether it is true or not or whether I am just further on my way to booking myself a first class ticket to hell I just don't know. But then again hell is not some place under the ground is it? Not a physical place with boiling pots and a man with horns givin' it large is it? Hell is more like in the here and now when you feel so unable to express yourself in any way that comes near to baring your soul to people. Not that that is necessarily a problem in itself of course, the inability to express that is, I mean it simply is what it is and therefore nuthin' more than an object of observation. Just gotta learn to accommodate the physical sensation that go with it, once that is under wraps then the problem really ain't so large.

we are spirits
we dance
contort our shapes
like trees in the wind blowin'
only usually with less
in the way of beauty
or dignity
than those trees

we are spirits
we dance in tune
we dance possessed
excommunicated from
the land of no confusion
the pyschic blind
in bliss unaware
of the dangers
which we store
for our futures of
treasure days gone bust