Fine day, Friday. Say it's gonna be cold again this w/end but it is all relative aint it? Fact of the matter is that it is hardly ever cold these days and most people, those who aint worried about the world going pop 'coz of all the excess sun are sittin' pretty, grinnin' like Cheshire cats as they ladle on the sun cream an' fire up the barbies. Me, well, you know for a long time I used to shit myself about it, the fact that the world is clearly getting hotter and things like winter in England with snow and frost an all that shit are clearly things of the past, but now I don't worry anymore. Not at all. Gone too far. It's all gone too far. Aint nuthin' we can do about it now, people aint gonna stop their habits like drivin' round in fuckin' big cars till they are told by means of a gun shoved in their chests by a big sweaty bastard that they just cant do it anymore. No messin', it's over. Till then forget it. People will do what people will do. Simple as that.
Had an incredible session of heart racin' palpitations when I went to bed last night. Think it was because of the salty pieces of gammon I cooked and ate for myself last night for dinner. Must have been the fear and pain of the animal coming through the food and hittin' the parts of me that lay beyond the mask. Either that or a whole bunch of additives that was no doubt used to preserve it. Brief dream pictures came through of the control scene behind this thing called life and consciousness. It was calm back there, mathematical but completely impossible to understand. Death, though, in that place, was familiar. Just the other side of the side coin. A different shade that is all.
Sometimes I get those heart racin' palponics. Just before I go to sleep when the dream landscape can turn shady and sinister as I make the descent into the dark. Dunno what to make of it. Last night as I lay there a part of me was trying to wake up and get some control over the situation, as I knew that if I managed to rise into consciousness the heart racin' would cease at least. But it was getting there that was the problem. It was like I was paralysed and in the paralysis it was impossible to control my beatin' heart. Eventually I managed to wake up out of it, and then I lay there on my back in the dark, way past midnight with my head spinnin'. Nice one.
Tamdin is down in Chippenham at the moment, seeing patients in her capacity as the best Tibetan doctor outside India and Tibet. Have arranged with her to go down and pick her up late tomorrow afternoon when she is finished. Burn a bit of oil on the highway, yeah, just for the hell of it. On the way down I intend to call in at Robert's place in Oxford. Take a load of the statues to show him that I bought in Nepal. Just to go over a few things with him. Tell him what prices we propose to charge for them, it will also be a chance for him to have a gander and cast his eye over the workmanship and give me his opinion as to their quality. Honestly an' strictly speaking I know they aint top of the range but at the same time I know they are nice. I think we are gonna be able to offer them at decent prices and that will make them affordable for a lot of people. At the end of the day that is the main motivation. Sales and availability. To get things out there and for things to be rocking along.
Robert has had a tough, really tough year due to the fact that his eldest daughter drowned about a year ago in a diving accident off the coast of Devon. Imagine that, one of your children going before you. She was only in her early 20s. Must turn your life upside down and I think this is what might have happened to Robert. Will see tomorrow. It will be the first time that I will have seen him since this tragedy happened. Mickey at Wisdom who has known Robert longer than I have has told me that Robert has been sending him emails about attempts to contact his daughter through mediums, psychics and stuff like that. Mickey has warned me that I might get a load of this from Robert when I see him tomorrow. We shall see I guess.
Don't think I'll mind if Robert wants to talk about that kind of stuff. He investigates things and what he was to say to me is always interesting. For Mickey who is a dyed in the wool Tibetan Buddhist from the old school, talk like that, I know, is a bit too much for him and he shys away from it as much as he can. Main thing is to show him the statues and get all that side of things firmed up so that they can go on the site early next week and we can start selling, people can start buying, and the whole deal goes down.
Then later next week me and Tamdin are heading up north for a few days. She has a meeting at a Tibetan Buddhist centre in Scotland with other Tibetan doctors. For the last few years I have gone with her as well because the centre is in an idyllic setting in the border country; wild, quite remote. Stuck at the end of the valley of Eskdalemuir. It is like stepping into another world for a couple of days. We always come back feeling we have been somewhere, which we have of course. This year we are also going up a day early in order to call in an an aged pair of distant relations of mine who live in Newcastle. Something we have been meaning to do for years, and you know how it is... one day one of them will croak and we will still not have done what we said we were gonna do. So now we're gonna nip it in the bud and get our visit in next week. Stay overnight at a local Marriott which has a pool so I should be able to get a dip in. And hopefully do what we can to bring a bit of joy and excitement into their lives. Well, ya know with me that is a bit of a tall order but even a crack arse such as myself can sometimes pull off big surprises.
Half day at work today. Think this afternoon a quick trip into town is most definitely on the cards. Those couple of Doobies CDs on Japanese import are just waiting there to be picked up - Livin' on the Fault Line and Minute by Minute. Who knows, I might just throw in Takin' it to the Streets as well if I think the good ole budget can stand it. Well, you see, these Doobies are only a tenner a go and the fully restored artwork is just simply fantastic so I think the whole thing, to go for a dirty triple, is a definite goer.
Wow! What a life eh? Who would have thought 30 years after I first listened and got into the Doobies I would still be able to generate the same level of excitement about them that I had when first got into them back in the deep '70s? Goes to show that those kinda things, if ya stumble across them when you're young enough an' still full of the magic o' life, will never, will never let ya down. They are embedded into yer bones and it is only fear and listening to the opinions of other people that pull you away from them as you get older and paranoid, and more inclined to live yer life by the rules that are not set by yourself but by others. When, in other words, you have fallen into the trap that is so easy to fall into. The Doobies though, when I was 13, 14 , 15 were simply the greatest, amongst others. It is all just as valid; the feelings, the visions I get when listening to those Doobies classics, they have stood up well, not aged in any way whatsoever.
Before I pick up the CDs I will get off at Liverpool St and take a walk through the city which on a Friday afternoon like today will be pretty awesome. Busy. All the city slickers makin' millions will still be there or windin' down for the w/end when they will leave the place deserted as they go to their villas in Southern Spain or country pads in the Home Counties or the Costwolds. Leavin' the place, the City, in peace so you can walk the streets and tune back into the times when it was the home of the Romans an' stuff like. Tune into the times when there was a temple to Mithras the Persian god of light standing roughly where Cornhill is today, and the Basillica was just round the corner. History. Livin' in the past in one way for sure, but in another it is tapping into the energy of life. Yeah man, I'll walk through the City in the early Spring mid-afternoon sun, before hittin' the West End an' pickin' up the Doobies on a triple decker. Really brothers, really sisters, this is a good life. Just gotta watch the old palponics I guess...
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