Imaginary Companions

It seems that after a certain point in your life you realise the lines are so deeply drawn, so deeply set, that things are not going to change unless something radical happens. When I think about it, I suppose that at times I see myself as a lonely person, like when my internal dialogue is running and I am imagining the people that I might be expressing my thoughts to, that I might be talking to. Who are the people that I imagine? Old friends more often than not, people from the past who I have now lost touch with. There is a part of me which asks the question: will I ever make the effort to get in touch with some of these people again? Well the truth is that I probably won't. It is a common enough habit to look back on the past and see it as better than it actually was. The main reason for this as far as I can work out is because we look back at the past with thoughts in the form of memories, but do we really feel the past? I don't think we do, the body tends to forget. It forgets that often in those previous times things didn't feel that brilliant anyway. There is no going back. These days I have Tamdin, I have meditation and I have other interests to keep my going. No doubt there will be more times in the future when I continue to talk to myself, imagining my companions as I try articulate thoughts; describing situations, experiences of life, events that I might have witnessed, or whatever.