Better sleep last night, think having half a bottle of the red stuff had something to do with it. Red wine and roast beef. Tasted pretty damn good to me. Still it would be good to get into a clean spell away from drinking. All too easy to snap a can of beer or crack open a bottle. Tamdin is just as bad as me. The red stuff went to her head last night pretty damn quick, and as a consequence she nearly buggered up the remote control on the TV. I came that close to kicking her head in. That is the uncontrollable nature caused by the booze.
She was trying to figure it out sittin' on the floor an' making a right old dogs dinner of it in the process. As she was kneelin' there beside me the temptation to swing my leg out at her and connect with her ear was quite powerful. No more Mr Nice Guy. Managed to resist the temptation but it just goes to show what lies beneath and how easy it could be to swipe away the veneer of respectability we continually fool ourselves with by thinking we possess in abundance.
Reminds of my days back in junior school in Plymouth when I had a violent streak which led to me lashing out on a couple of occasions. One time I was sitting next to my class mate Trevor Butler. He said something that I didn't like so I thwacked him on his hooter which just went splat and bloodied up large his cotton white shirt. Got into a bit of trouble for that and was sent to the headmaster. His mum went ballistic and I think me old ma ended up having to buy him a new shirt or something like that. Tough bananas.
Few more years down the line and I did exactly the same thing to a girl called Jacqueline Bacon for bugging me. That wiped the smile off her face I can remember that. Headmaster's office again. S'pose in this day and age I could get sued for assault or be permanently expelled for such violent behaviour, but back in the glorious early '70s it was all see as par for the course and a smack on the back of the knuckles with a ruler was the standard punishment for being a bad boy.
Anyway back to the start and the point being that me and Tamdin would do well to have a break from the booze at some point. Just to minimise any potential bad incidents happening. When she drinks she always wants to crash out and when I won't follow her up the stairs and into oblivion she gets upset, saying I don't love her, that my love for her is superficial and that she could do better, so much better. Stuff like that, an' it gets harder and harder for me to smile. Guess if we had a coupla squids then we wouldn't have so much time at night to get stuck into the happy juice but the fact of the matter is we don't so that is that.
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